New Moon - Redux
by mightymouse1900
Summary: AU. My take on events if Bella got turned by Laurent in the meadow. How can Bella find it in her to forgive when she has experienced so much pain?
1. Chapter 1

**New Moon Redux**

_Disclaimer for all chapters: I do not own the Twilight Saga. SM owns it. This story contains mention of extreme violence, strong language, etc. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with such topics. _

Chapter One

She dropped the match and watched as the flame quickly raced up the gas trail to the front porch and exploded into a ball engulfing the front porch. She experienced several emotions as she watched the Cullen's house burn – satisfaction being the greatest. Maybe they would get the hint… don't ever come back to Forks.

The Fire Department had not come just like she expected. The Cullen house was so far on the outskirts of town, she knew no one would see the fire. Standing in front of the glowing embers that represented all that remained of the once gorgeous house, Bella looked at her watch. Jesus, it was only 5:30 a.m. She been here since midnight dousing the house with gasoline, taking her time going through each and every room, including _his_, but it only felt like 5 minutes. _Eternity was excruciating_, she thought. She hated _this _life because it was never something she wanted alone but at least she knew there would be one less reminder of _them_ in Forks.


	2. Chapter 2

**New Moon Redux**

_Disclaimer for all chapters: I do not own the Twilight Saga. SM owns it. This story contains mention of extreme violence, strong language, etc. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with such topics. _

**Chapter Two**

Bella turned and ran back to her house. She jumped up and entered her room through her window. It was quiet… too quiet. She missed Charlie so much, and she felt a pang of regret knowing that he would have been disappointed in what she'd done, but she pushed the regret away. She needed to finish packing her room. She had saved it for last. The realtor was showing the house tomorrow and Bella needed it to be empty, just like the rest of what was her home.

Soon she was running towards her climate controlled storage unit in Port Angeles. When she arrived, she added the few remaining boxes to the pile and shut the door behind her closing herself in for another interminably dull day.

She desperately wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. She was mentally exhausted and wanted to shut her brain off, but vampires are like sharks … they never sleep. Ironically, Bella thought, they have several other things in common… both are consummate predators drawn to the smell of blood, and in their respective environments, only others of their kind typically present any threat.

She hated being endlessly alone with her thoughts. She tried to focus on the future but all too quickly her thoughts circled back to _that day_.

She wished again that she had never decided to try to find the meadow again. She remembered how lost she felt. She just needed to connect to something positive. Edward and the Cullens had left and now Jake. Bella felt unwanted, unlovable. When she stumbled upon the meadow, her disappointment overwhelmed her. Without Edward, the meadow didn't hold any magic. She fell to her knees trying to hold herself together against the sense of nothingness that threatened to overtake her. Then Laurent showed up.

Despite her efforts to stall, threaten and get away, Laurent attacked. His hunger was too great. She was barely still conscious when the wolves arrived. She remembered hitting the ground and staring up at the sky before the familiar burn began. She had felt it before when James bit her and now Laurent's venom was pulsing through her veins. She had wanted to cry and she screamed, "No, No!" This wasn't her choice. She had felt dead without Edward but she hadn't wanted to die. She especially didn't want to die this way, without him. Dying this way at this time made everything that happened before seem pointless. No matter how hard she tried, Bella couldn't remember anything again until she woke up three days later but her anger and sadness carried over with her into her new life.


	3. Chapter 3

**New Moon Redux**

_Disclaimer for all chapters: I do not own the Twilight Saga. SM owns it. This story contains mention of extreme violence, strong language, etc. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with such topics. _

**Chapter Three**

When she woke, Bella realized that she was still in the meadow but she could sense that she wasn't alone. She sat up and took stock. It was nighttime. Bella should have felt cold but she didn't. She could see perfectly in the dark, and it seemed she could hear everything from each leaf's rustle to every bug crawling. "Whose there?" she called out and then gasped. Her voice… it was changed, just like the rest of her was. A light breeze blew and she picked up a terrible stench; she stood quickly, too quickly at first for she jumped ten feet. Her sudden movements startled her and her company. She suddenly heard growling. She instinctively crouched and let out her own growl in return. She could see five huge wolves circling her. Her instincts were screaming "danger, danger" but Bella resisted.

"I won't hurt you," she called out slowly, her voice uncertain. "My name is Bella, and I need some help. Can you understand me?" She fell to her knees and clasped her hands to her head unexpectedly overwhelmed by her senses. The light breeze was distracting causing new noises and bringing new smells. She could hear everything, five distinct heartbeats, breathing, and so much more.

Surprised at her completely defenseless posture, the pack made a decision. Surrounding him for protection, Jake phased back into his human form.

"Bella, it's me, Jake."

She looked up and her crimson eyes caused a chill to go down his spine. "If you can understand what I'm saying, nod your head."

Bella nodded and slowly lowered her hands from her head, her eyes never leaving Jake.

"That vampire bit you. You changed. You are a vampire now."

Bella nodded. She had figured this much out already. She tilted her head and continued to look expectantly at Jake.

"You remember the Quileute legends about wolves? Well it turns out its true. I can turn into a wolf. Don't ask so surprised," he joked, when his comment elicited zero reaction from Bella who sat as still as a stone.

"Charlie?" she asked.

"He's safe, Bella. We've been guarding him. We heard what that vampire said about the other vampire, Victoria, before he attacked you. While you were transforming," he said hesitating over the word, _it was probably easier to say than "dying" Bella thought_, "I told Charlie that you had decided that you needed some time away and were staying with me at the reservation. He's worried but thinks you're okay and will be coming home soon. He notified the school that you were going to be out for awhile."

Jake was quiet for a few minutes as Bella sat motionless absorbing this information. Victoria… she remembered how. According to Laurent, Victoria wanted to avenge James' death by killing her to hurt Edward. _What an idiot_, Bella thought. Edward didn't care. He said … he didn't want her. And now, her she was. Undead for eternity.

"What am I going to do?" Bella's statement shocked the wolves but she didn't realize it. "Where's Laurent?" she asked looking around for the first time.

"The vampire that bit you? He's dead, Bella. We killed him."

"You killed a vampire?" she couldn't hide the incredulity in her voice.

"That's what we do." Jake responded with a cocky tone. The wolves seemed to smile too.

If she wasn't so distraught she might have laughed. "I thought you just ran him off."

"If he hadn't bitten you, we might have let him live but that's doubtful since his eyes were red." Jake went on to explain the treaty that the Tribe had with the Cullens.

_So many secrets, _Bella thought.

"What about me?" Bella asked.

"What about you?" Jake replied confused.

" What's going to happen to me? Are you going to kill me?" Bella asked her flat. "Wait!" she said suddenly excited. "I know… kill me… kill me too." Bella stood as she said this causing the pack to move closer to Jake making him step back. "I don't want to kill anyone Jake; I couldn't stand it," Bella continued. "I mean, you've been standing here and I haven't thought of killing you once, but I don't want to risk it. I don't know how to survive like this. I don't know how…" Bella's voice petered out as if she had run out of steam. She fell back to her knees again like a discarded rag doll.

Her comments gave everyone pause but abruptly, as if they had made a decision, the wolves started moving closer forming a circle around Bella. She sat there. This time she was ready. She didn't want this life.

"No, NO! Jake cried. "It's Bella, you can't kill her."

Bella closed her eyes and waited calmly. The wolves would do the right thing.

Bella heard gnashing teeth and lots of growling. She opened her eyes and saw a huge russet wolf standing in front of her facing off against the large black one.

Understanding came swiftly… "Jake, no!" Bella cried out. "This is what I want!" But it was too late. Jake and the black wolf started fighting and it was over quickly. Jake defeated the black wolf. Jake then transformed back into his human self.

"Bella, I'm the alpha now and the pack has to do what I say," he said in a solemn voice. Bella could tell that Jake didn't take any pleasure in what had happened.

"But, I have nothing, Jake," she said quietly.

Looking at Bella with tears in his eyes, he said, "You have Charlie, Bells."


	4. Chapter 4

**New Moon Redux**

_Disclaimer for all chapters: I do not own the Twilight Saga. SM owns it. This story contains mention of extreme violence, strong language, etc. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with such topics. _

**Chapter 4**

"Hello?"

"Mr. Hale, sir? Jenks here." A man said.

"Yes?" Jasper replied in a clipped tone. He was surprised by the call but gave no indication.

"I apologize for bothering you. I have some news regarding your home in Forks, sir."

When Jasper didn't say anything, Jenks continued quickly…

"It caught fire yesterday, sir and…

"How bad is it?" Jasper interrupted intentionally to keep Jenks off balance.

"Well sir, from the report I received the entire house was destroyed."

"I see. I'll be there tomorrow to see for myself," Jasper instructed quickly. "I'll call you when I arrive and we will make a plan then to go see the damage," and he hung up.

Jenks felt relieved and mopped his brow that the call was so brief. Mr. Cullen was scary and the less contact with him the better, from Jenks point of view. Jenks had been afraid to give him the bad news. _He handled that much better than I expected_, Jenks thought. Then the sweat started forming on Jenks' brow again as he realized, _I'm going to have to see him soon, in person._

EBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBE

Jasper stood with his cell phone in his hand. At that moment, Alice came in from the other room. "Everything okay?" she asked.

Jasper started heading over to the computer in the family room. "I need to go to Forks," he said quietly.

He looked over at his wife who had the familiar look on her face… she was checking the future.

"I don't see anything," she said with some surprise in her voice. "I'm coming with you."

"Okay".

Jasper could feel both sadness and concern from his wife and didn't have the heart to bother arguing. He wanted her company.

Truth be told, Jasper didn't like the news at all. Something didn't feel right. The Cullens had properties all over the world so for the Forks property to catch fire, when nothing ever happened in Forks, was unusual.

It had been five years since they had left at Edward's behest. Jasper still felt guilty over his role in how things went down. His control was much better but he still regretted his actions deeply and had constant reminders of the consequences every day. Alice missed Bella deeply, and Edward, well it hurt to think about his brother.

He quickly booked compared flying vs. driving and decided on driving. He then clicked over to the site for the Forks newspaper. Starting six months prior, Jasper quickly scanned the _Forks Forum _website. Alice stood next to him and rested her hand on his shoulder. "What are you looking for?"

"That was Jenks, who called." Jasper explained. "Our Forks house caught fire yesterday. We're going to check the damage." He paused. "Something doesn't feel right to me, sweetheart. I don't know what I'm looking for exactly."

Alice respected Jasper's instincts. Where she relied on his visions, he relied on his intuition.

They both gasped when they saw the headline, "Chief of Police Dead." They scanned quickly through the article and then located Charlie's obituary. The date of the article was about a month prior.

"Oh Bella," Alice cried softly, her heart going out to her friend.

"The obituary says, 'Charlie is survived by his daughter, Isabella,'" Jasper read aloud.

"I bet she is devastated," Alice replied her brow furrowed. "Jas, I can't see her at all."

"It's okay, honey. We'll be there tomorrow and can get more information."

"Should we tell Edward or the rest of the family?"

"Edward, no. Carlisle and Esme, yes about the house but not about Charlie" Jasper replied quickly. Alice could see everyone's reactions to the news about Charlie and agreed quickly with Jasper. There was nothing productive to come out of it.

Jasper didn't voice his thoughts aloud but it bothered him, more than he let on, that Alice couldn't see Bella.

EBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBE

They had agreed that Jasper should tell Carlisle and Esme. When he did share where he and Alice were going and why, they were concerned, but Jasper was able to use his gift to keep them calm and agree to let Alice and him investigate. Jasper could feel deep concern from both of them for Bella. All agreed to not say anything to Edward, for the time being. Edward was away currently anyway so they were not worried about him finding out right away. After talking with Carlisle and Esme and extracting their promise not to mention anything to Emmett or Rosalie, Alice and Jasper left.

Deer City, Minnesota was a town even smaller than Forks, but it was next to the Chippewa National Forest so hunting was plentiful. The family had splintered after leaving Forks and bounced around, each coping with their loss of Bella in different ways. It was only just recently that Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme had returned to living under one roof, and it was Rosalie who urged them to reunite; she also picked their home in Minnesota because she liked the deer here.

What would have taken a human approximately a day and a half, took them a lot less with Alice's ability to see ahead and avoid police and other obstacles and Jasper's vampire reflexes. A person might have considered the time spent traveling from Deer City to Forks long and tiring, but to Jasper and Alice it was a nice break in their routine. They even stopped to hunt along the way.

They arrived in town around twilight and made their way to the old house. The feelings of light-heartedness left as they got closer, both lost in their thoughts. The driveway was overgrown and Jasper made a note to discuss the property's upkeep with Jenks. As the house, or what was left of it, came into view, Alice gasped. Once parked, they exited the car silently and came to stand side by side holding hands. What he saw reminded Jasper of the Civil War. All that remained of the once beautiful modern house was the brick chimney and the remnants of the foundation. Turning off his emotions for the time being, he started investigating. Taking a deep breath, he smelled gasoline.

"This was not an accident, honey," he told Alice. She nodded her head in agreement. Splitting up, the two ducked under the yellow police tape. Jasper started walking around the foundation to the left, and Alice the right.

They didn't know how the house was left, but if the family followed its habits, sheets would have been draped over the furniture and the windows shuttered. Alice wondered about Edward's journals and music collection. _Had he or Esme moved them? _In normal moves where the family had time, personal items were moved from home to home, but their departure from Forks was nothing but normal; it was chaotic. Alice doubted Edward would have had the presence of mind in his grief, so if Esme didn't take care of them, they were gone now. As graceful and light on her feet as she was, Alice's feet still made loud crunching noises on the thousands of shards of burnt and black carbonized glass from the former large glass windows the former house had boasted. She could hear Jasper's feet making crunching noises too. After thoroughly poking and looking around, Alice didn't find anything that might have given her a clue as to who did this or what happened. The air smelled predominantly of gasoline, which explained why the fire was so effective in is destruction. Her gift seemed to be failing her too… she didn't see anything about the house.

When they met up again by the car, Jasper shared he hadn't found anything either. They drove over to Port Angeles and booked a room in the Olympic Lodge in Port Angeles for the night. Tomorrow, Jasper would meet with Jenks and Alice would try to locate Bella.


	5. Chapter 5

**New Moon Redux**

_Disclaimer for all chapters: I do not own the Twilight Saga. SM owns it. This story contains mention of extreme violence, strong language, etc. Do not read if you are uncomfortable with such topics. _

**Chapter 5**

Charlie.

Thinking about her father pained her. Bella stood suddenly in a futile effort to loosen the tightness in her chest. She reached in a familiar box and pulled out a photo. Jacob had taken this picture of Charlie about a month before his death. Bella's finger lovingly traced the outline of her father's face.

When the wolves wouldn't kill her after her transformation, Bella didn't move from spot in the meadow until her thirst grew strong, but then she realized, she didn't know how to _hunt._

Coming back to her surroundings, she saw Jacob was still with her in his wolf form, and another wolf she didn't recognize.

"Jake?" she called out softly. She didn't think she would ever get used to the sound of her new voice.

Jacob raised his head from his paws and looked at her expectantly.

"I'm hungry…thirsty, I mean, but I don't know what to do."

They just started at each other for a few moments. Bella not knowing exactly what she was asking, and Jacob wondering if he could help her.

Jake stood up and dipped into a deep stretch of on his front legs. He then shook his entire coat. Bella sat in awe of her friend who clearly was also thoroughly wolf. Jake started trotting away. He stopped and looked back at Bella. She realized that he wanted her to follow him. Bella stood slowly. She didn't want to sail up into the air like last time. She began to jog but didn't know her own speed and she accidently shot past Jake.

"Sorry," she said to both wolves, embarrassed at her inability to manage something as simple as jogging because of her new strength. "I think I'll just walk." Jake passed Bella and resumed the lead, Bella was walking quickly in the middle keeping up easily, and the other wolf brought up the rear. They went deep into the forest, and after a time came out on the other side. In the distance, Bella could see a herd of something and her ears picked up sound of multiple heartbeats. Venom started pooling in her mouth and instinctively, she raised her nose into the air and sniffed. Bella felt compelled to run, but instead of allowing her instincts to overtake her, she stood by Jake and the other wolf, uncertain as to what she should do. She looked to the wolves. Jake moved to stand in front of the other wolf in what seemed to be a protective stance. The second wolf transformed right before Bella's eyes. One second wolf; the next Leah Clearwater. Leah stood before Bella naked. Bella was shocked by both Leah's sudden appearance and the fact that Leah was naked.

Human habits still present, Bella took a breath and then suddenly covered her nose and mouth to keep from inhaling. Both Leah and Jacob smelled awful, but Bella could hear Leah's blood pulsing through her veins and Bella was frozen with fear. Leah was in danger because of _her. _

Seeing Bella's red pupils darken, Leah recognized the danger immediately. She desperately wanted to phase into her wolf form but that had to wait. Leah had to teach Bella first. Fucking Jake. If Bella killed her, she was going to haunt Jacob Black forever.

"Bella, that is a herd of elk," Leah said. "Go eat. Grab one, bite it and suck its blood" Leah said in a calm voice. It didn't crack as she thought it might but it wasn't as steady as she would have wanted either. A bloodthirsty Bella was scary, and Bella's stillness made her even more frightening to Leah.

Bella turned her head away from Jake and Leah and faced the herd, slowly lowering her hands from her face. She took off.

Leah let out a breath, not realizing until that moment, she had been holding it. "You owe me, Jake. I don't ever want to be that close to a vampire again unless I am in my wolf form. " With understanding and gratitude in his eyes, Jake nodded. He started running after Bella. Leah phased and followed.

Bella didn't know how long she fed, but she stopped when she felt full. She became aware of her surroundings noticing her hands first. She had used them to hold down an elk. She drank the first one dry but its frightened cries disturbed her. For the rest, she broke their necks before feeding. The blood was still warm this way but Bella didn't have to deal with the animal's distress.

Her clothes were a mess of animal fur, animal saliva, venom and blood. The air smelled of sweat and fear… the elk terrified of the predator in their midst. There were carcasses strewn all over the ground. Bella fell to her knees overcome with sadness. She murdered these animals. She was a murderer. She felt monstrous. For a moment, she thought of Edward and for the first time felt she understood him a bit better, but as she looked around, her empathy turned to bitterness. She shouldn't be here, struggling and alone.

"I need to clean this up," she said. Edward never spoke to her about the Cullen's diet, but Emmett had answered her questions. Emmett had explained that to avoid discovery, the Cullens always made sure to hide the evidence of their hunting. Bella got back up and went over to a nearby tree. She broke off a large branch with a single-hand marveling at her strength. She then used the branch as a make-shift shovel and dug a large pit. She buried the remnants of her feeding quickly and effortlessly.

After completing this task, Bella stood with her hands in the pockets of her jeans, thinking. She realized that she needed some sort of plan. She could hunt but where and how would she clean-up afterwards? The elk hadn't torn her clothes, but she remembered Alice telling her a story about how Emmett hunted a grizzly bear that tore up his clothes. Emmett thought it hilarious that he had to run home naked but Rosalie hadn't.

Her clothes were filthy; she was a mess. Where was she going to wash? How was she going to get new clothes if she needed them? What was she going to do during the day? Where was she going to stay? Where was she going to get money to live on? What about school? Bella didn't want to live like a nomad but what other choice did she have? The list of questions went on and on in Bella's brain. She desperately wanted to shut her mind off and sleep, but ironically, both of those options were off the table. Bella realized that she needed a plan. She was going to live a long time. She was still struggling with _forever. _She didn't want to live like a wild animal. She realized that she would need money, a place to stay, everything. What was she going to do?! Her anger started to bubble up again. The Cullens … she supposed she should try to find them but they had left months ago without so much as a "nice to know you". "Fuck them," Bella mumbled under her breath.

"Jake, Leah," Bella said, "Go home and get some rest." Seeing their hesitation, Bella added, "I'll stay here, I promise. I need to think," she added. Nodding, Jake and Leah ran off. In a few minutes, she felt eyes on her and saw a wolf she didn't recognize watching her from the opposite tree line. Bella was surprised that she wasn't pissed off. It actually made her feel a bit better that the wolves provided her with a chaperone to hopefully keep her from killing someone. She felt a little less alone.

Bella did as she promised and stayed in the forest thinking and trying to figure out a plan, but it was a very hard day. Bella found every thought of her situation deepened her rage. She felt trapped, powerless, hopeless, and worst of all, stupid. She should never have come to the meadow.

Day passed into night and back into day again. Eventually Jacob returned, this time as a person. He was flanked by several wolves. _Shift change,_ Bella thought. She turned and watched the wolf she had been thinking of as her chaperone get up, shake, stretch, and then turn and amble away.

"You hungry?" Jake asked.

Bella realized that she hadn't hunted since the last time she saw Jake. Her thoughts had dominated the constant slow burning thirst.

"I didn't realize it, but yea," she replied.

Phasing into his wolf form, they took off, running through the forest his time instead of walking. The other wolves came too. Bella felt awestruck at her ability. She was graceful in her movements and fast! She could see everything avoiding all obstacles, and when she held her breath, the stench of the wolves faded. She began to speed up unconsciously giving into the joyful sensations of her strength and agility. She saw a large felled tree and without hesitation, leapt. Bella's body and spirit soared. She landed much farther away than she needed too, but she landed in a perfect crouch just like she had seen superheroes do in movies. She stopped for a moment with a huge smile on her face. The wolves caught up quickly but seemed wary, and Jake shook his head, fracturing Bella's celebratory moment. Brought up short by the reality of the situation, Bella felt the isolation settling on her again. She was not like them and they were not like her. She was alone and her abilities scared the wolves. They scared her too. She didn't have any vampire to help her… to learn or who could relate to her sense of wonder... to help her in anyway. The truth creeping like a snake around her heart_… "You're not good for me… it's time for a change… they're all gone," _Edward's voice mocking her in her thoughts.

She didn't want this life this way. Her fury towards Edward and bitterness towards the rest of the Cullens for abandoning her threatened to overwhelm her again. Bella shoved those feelings away for the time being, turned and resumed the hunt.

Once her thirst was sated, Bella rejoined the pack. She was less messy this time. _I guess practice does make perfect_, she thought to herself ruefully. _Or maybe deer are more easy a meal to manage than elk._ Pondering that question, Bella waited as Jake walked joined her after phasing back into his human form.

"I need help, Jake." And so the conversation began. Jake and Bella talked for hours. In the end, they decided that Bella and Jake would tell Charlie together about her. Neither could see a way around it. Unless Bella "vanished", she needed human help.


End file.
